Twenty Something

Written by Neph

So a while ago a subscriber requested a blog post about getting through your 20s. At first I thought, this should be an easy one to write about. As I sat down to write, I was stumped.

How did I get through my twenties?

Your twenties are the first time that you really feel like you're an adult. By 21 you're legal to drink, by 25 you can rent a car and you're most likely living in your first apartment. So what makes getting through your 20s so hard?


I remember turning 20 like it was yesterday. I was at a new college, missing home, but my homegirl (shout out to Mika!) coordinated a surprise party for me in my dorm room.

I remember thinking to myself, you're out of the teens, you're officially "grown". All the drama and insecurities you had in your teenage years are gone. Soon you'll have a college degree, a job, and your own apartment. You'll be living the life!

Boy, was that a lie.

From the age of 20 to about 24 I found myself bending and twisting myself to fit an image that wasn't realistic. Trying to play house when I had no businesses doing so, putting unrealistic pressures on where I should be in life, and simply trying to look like this person that I wasn't.

I was consuming media that was telling me that I needed to be dressed to the nines all day everyday, hair done, nails done... everything did.

Shoot, anytime I logged onto Instagram, it was like my timeline was yelling at me that I was falling behind.

Then I turned Twenty-fine...

Twenty-five was a good year. I brought in my birthday on an awesome trip, I graduated from grad school, I was living in New York, in a great apartment, with a job that really fulfilled me. It felt like I was finally on track.

But once again, life has a funny way of humbling folks....

I started noticing that my peers were getting married, having babies, and buying houses. I started to doubt my achievements and compared myself to my peers. Those thoughts of what am I doing wrong, started setting in more frequently than I preferred.

The late Twenties

At this point, 27 years old I mean, I have come to some conclusions;

  1. What's happening over there doesn't matter: Stop paying attention to what others are doing. Unless they are saving the world or heading a major protest, 9 out of 10 times you're giving your energy to the wrong thing.

  2. TV shows are for entertainment, not for setting expectations: Just because you see it on TV or because it's a trend, doesn't mean it's meant for you.

  3. Those picture perfect people don't look like that: No one is going to post negative stuff or bad pictures of themselves. They too prepared to take that photo.

  4. Trust the process: Wether you're a religious person or simply in-tuned with your chakras, trust that everything happens for a reason and your time is coming.

So whether you're just turning 20 or moving on to your great 30s, give yourself a pat on the back. You've made it this far and you're doing great. Growing is hard, getting through your 20s is hard, finding yourself is hard, but the outcome is always so worth it.

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