It's Okay Not To Be Okay

written by Felecia

“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” - Audre Lorde

There is a lot happening in our country right now. Between a global pandemic, an economic crisis, and mounting protests against police brutality it feels like I have whiplash. My emotions are being pulled in so many directions all at once. 

Last week felt like one of the wildest weeks of 2020… and what a wild year 2020 has been.

The murders of  George Floyd, Breonna Taylor and Ahmaud Abery have sparked outrage in hearts all over the world and set off new waves in the Black Lives Matter movements.

In some ways it feels like last week was a blur. As a Black woman living in America, my heart is tired. I was balancing 17 different emotions at any given moment. Anger, sadness, frustration, hurt, hopelessness, fear, and so many more that I am not even sure how to name. Most of us tend to distract ourselves instead of dealing with our emotions. We’ll turn to social media, Netflx binging or anything else that we feel will help us drown out our feelings. 

Today I want to remind you that regardless of what feelings you have, they are all valid. Allow yourself to feel all of the feelings fully and completely before moving to action. If you don’t process the feelings, then you are simply suppressing them and I promise that they will come back up eventually. Once you process those emotions use them to move to action with intention. 

It is in these moments that I am reminded that self-care must be a non-negotiable part of activism. Ask yourself what your heart needs right now. How many social media posts can you interact with before it before your mental health is negatively impacted? Where do you turn to when you’re overwhelmed?

You are still allowed to have joy and feel happiness in the midst of everything else happening in the world. You are still allowed to laugh and smile. You are still allowed to show yourself love.  Identify the places that celebrate you and embrace all of you unconditionally. Once you do, don’t be afraid to lean on them when you need to. 

If you haven’t already, be sure to check out Publicly Sexy’s Mental Health Resources page. There you can find information on how to find anti-racist, identity affirming therapists.


Remember that you can reach connect with me and the Publicly Sexy team on Instagram at any time. You can also fill out the Fridays with Felecia form and I will reach out to you directly to help connect you with the support that you’re looking for. 

In solidarity,


20 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Monday December 6, 2021 Written by Gemina “Human Rights Day is observed every year on 10 December — the day the United Nations General Assembly adopted, in 1948, the Universal Declaration of Human Rig

Written by Markyse We continue to put gender labels on boys and girls. Boys are to wear blue, girls wear pink, boys don’t cry, girls are emotional. And so on. We spent countless hours labelling and pa

By Lorraine Bee Hey hey! It’s your favorite prima Black Madonna here with another good read about all about the astrological signs baby! Now if you are a member of the hemanHOROSCOPEhating club, this