FEELING MYSELF- Masturbation

Written by Kia


This is my first post for Publicly Sexy, and I was having a rough time figuring out where to start. My husband graduated from nursing school, we went on a cruise, we visited Cuba, and I had some family issues all within the first three weeks of May... and I’m finally getting back into the groove of things. So HEY Y’ALL!!!

Since May was Masturbation Month - not sure if that’s official or if it’s just something we came up with - I wanted to touch on (ha!) three things that will help keep your life as solo sexy as possible.

one-don't be afraid of porn

Did you know that based on a study done by The Independent that 1/3 of women watch porn once a week? It’s often thought that porn is only for men, and that they watch it as a means to objectify women (or men). However, it has been found that women often choose to watch porn to explore our own sexuality and figure out what we want on our own to please ourselves. Society will tell you that women compare themselves to the women in porn so that makes it dangerous. While I can’t speak for the majority, it has been shown that women will watch porn to explore ourselves and turn ourselves on. I have a whole list of my fave videos to revert to when I have the need.

(If you’re concerned about the degradation of women in porn, there are a few ethical porn sites. FrolicMe, Blk Touch, and A Four Chambered Heart are good places to start.)

two- Toys are for everyone. Explore your body.

You know how you’re watching a movie, and a guy and a girl have regular penetrative sex, and she screams “I’M CUMMING” in three minutes? That ain’t real life sis. Only about 25% of women can orgasm from penetration alone, or from unassisted vaginal intercourse. That being said, many of us (myself included) require assistance on other areas of the body to reach orgasm. Nothing is wrong with the 75%, it just means that our clitoris, nipples, neck, thighs, anus, or any other erogenous zone need a little love.

Take some time to touch, grip, caress, and stroke varying parts of your body to see what turns you on. Like a little light touch? Try some feather play. Is your anus a little sensitive? Maybe explore a plug during masturbation one day. Is clitoral stimulation your thing? Adding a good bullet to your repertoire may be the move. But you won’t know what you like until you learn your body.

three- Lingerie


I’m married, and I STILL buy lingerie for myself. My husband liking my lingerie is just a byproduct, because I’m doing it so I can feel sexy in my second skin.

Self esteem and confidence goes a very long way in masturbation. If you are really feeling yourself, you can TRULY feel yourself and what feels good. Even if your physical body isn’t exactly where you want it to be, LOVE YOURSELF WHERE YOU ARE. Give yourself a little grace. Trace scented body butter into your stretch marks and thank them for allowing you to grow. Slip some lace over your full breasts that you have been blessed with. Slide into that silk teddy and let that sensuality of the fabric grace your figure, thankful that you are able to experience more time with this body you’ve been given.

Find out fabrics and cuts that make you feel sexy. My favorite lingerie comes from SavageX, and I even have a subscription box from The Fantasy Box that comes with different lingerie pieces monthly. It truly does make a difference.

Welp, that’s all I got for my first post! Just a couple of points that might make alone time a bit more unifying with yourself. Let me know if or how it helps you!

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