Esteem of yo' damn self!

written by Wizzy


In the words of Katt Williams, it’s called SELF-esteem. It’s the ESTEEM of your damn SELF!”

Nothing has ever rung truer than these words. When a pimp himself tells you to work on your self-esteem, you listen.


But to Katt Williams point, what does it actually mean to esteem oneself? Well, when you look up esteem in the dictionary, a laundry list of synonyms appears. Here are a few for your reference:


Regard (n)

Regard

Reverence

Honor

Approval

Respect

Admiration

Appreciation


Value(v)

Value

Appreciate

Prize

Cherish

Venerate

Admire

Respect

Approve

Honor


From the looks of it, you should really only give esteem to something deserving of such high praise and respect, and the only person that deserves such esteem is yourself. The key player, the HBIC the PIMP the Queen, goddess, baby Jesus, Beyoncé, that deserves all this attention is none other than YOUR DAMN SELF.


Now don’t misunderstand, one doesn’t build self-esteem overnight. Confidence, positive self -talk, self-esteem, courage, all take a great amount of practice, dedication, and repetition. Repetition is how we learn. We learn we are beautiful by acknowledging our beauty every day. But you must know YOU ARE WORTH THE WORK!


Everyday? Yes, everyday. Especially in this age of social media, managing healthy self-esteem is HARD. Every day we are bombarded with global images that we try to measure ourselves up to. It feels like you’re competing with a never-ending feed of perfection, and that can be daunting.But if you’re scrolling and liking posts every day, giving someone else a boost of confidence, applauding their magic, why wouldn’t you take the same time to like yourself daily?


This doesn’t mean we never have bad days. We all have times when we don’t feel too great about ourselves. And that’s okay. Having great self-esteem is also about acknowledging the times we aren’t our best and being kind enough to ourselves to forgive and invest the time into getting back on track.


There is nothing wrong with knowing your self-worth. There is nothing wrong with being your own hype man. You need to love yourself, dare I say, like Kanye loves Kanye?


But let’s take a page out of Kanye’s book. He’s got the right idea. Although a bit extra, you can’t be mad at the man for being his star player and believing in himself.


A lot of times we find ourselves speaking ill of people with high self-confidence. Something we commonly say is “Oh, she think she’s cute” “she thinks she’s all that”. Well what exactly is she supposed to think?




If she doesn’t think she’s cute who will? Why do we expect women to sit around and wait to be praised? Wait to be complimented and wait for others to determine our self-worth. Nah, I’m good love.





While you’re waiting for someone to glorify you, I’m going to work on esteeming my damn self by following these 10 steps laid out by Publicly Sexy.


  1. Be nice to yourself -The negative things you say about yourself hurt, so try being nice, it can't hurt!

  2. Stop comparing yourself to others- Your success is your success; your goals are your goals. Comparing yourself to others is going to take away focus from what's important to you.

  3. Be your own change agent- Have something you want to change? Do it! Only you can change how you deal with things or what you look like.

  4. The small successes matter - Wanted to drink three bottles of water? Did you drink three bottles of water? Well alright then pat yourself on the back!

  5. Figure out what makes you happy. - We’re bombarded with messages on what happiness should/could look like. Spend some time defining what happiness looks like and means to you.

  6. Treat yourself. You're great - Don’t forget to treat yourself every now and then. Take yourself out on a date.  Impress yourself so you’re not overly impressed or overtaken by the simple gestures of other.

  7. Know your worth. You are the golden standard- If your self-worth is high, your standards will follow. You are uniquely made, custom, limited edition. Don’t give yourself away for free. Put a hefty price tag on it!

  8. Marie Kondo your life sis!- The Netflix famous KonMari method isn’t only applicable to tidying up your house. You can use the same principles in your personal life. If a relationship doesn’t spark joy, or put you down,  thank it for what it was and the purpose it served, then tell that relationship BYE! You deserve joy, keep relationships around that spark it.

  9. Learn to ride the wave of self-love. - Learn how to love yourself. It takes time and practice. There are tons of books, podcasts, articles, blogs, and even inspirations social media pages that have great advice on how to boost self-esteem. Learn some healthy tips and tricks. Listen to other people’s testimonials, but most importantly start your own journey to self-love.  

  10. Practice, practice, practice! - It takes 10000 hours of practice to master anything, that includes building confidence and having self-love. Affirm your greatness daily. Put in the work.  You are worth it!

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Publicly Sexy does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Please consult with a medical provider before attempting anything. 

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