Black Madonna’s Sex Toy 101: Tips & Recommendations from a Self Loving ‘Virgin’

By Lorraine Bee

Hey Hey! Virgin here! If you’re new to my blog, please know I use that term lightly and have written numerous posts all about the stigma, the idealization , and conducted a whole research study summarized here all about that. If you’re a virgin, GREAT, but if you aren’t THAT’S SEXY TOO. There are so many first time experiences a person will have in their lifetime. It is always important to do the right thing when YOU feel you’re ready for the sexy, dirty, flirty, wild, sensual, kinky, and pleasurable deeds that include oral sex, vaginal sex, anal sex, masturbation, and using SEX TOYS!

For all my curious cats, you certainly don’t have to feel ashamed in buying, owning, or using sex toys for your own pleasure or to spice things up with your partner. Everyone has their own needs especially in the midst of the pandemic, I decided to talk about sex toys highlighting a few (all virgin and sex toy virgin APPROVED) from with my own collection and experiences. I also have some tips on how to safely store, clean, and experiment with sex toys while explore your own body

GOOD VIBRATIONS - LoveHoney - Bullet Vibrator - $19.99

Alrighty, so for my first recommendation, I must recommend my very first toy in my collection, a bullet vibrator. I bought my first toy in a small and discrete sex shop in a shopping center in Queens. I dragged all my friends to this shop with me ( like a whole field trip LOL) to see walls of different strap-ons, dildos, vibrators, porn, and other items. While I was in undergrad, I was still living with my mom, so I had bought the smallest toy I could hide in my room! I felt absolutely exhilarated. At that time in my life, I truly was discovering my own sexual pleasure, while still maintaining my so called “virginity” without penetration. So for my first toy, it sure did not disappoint!!! The bullet itself is about the length of my middle finger, and a little bit wider. Just lay it on top of your vulva, the pointed tip of the toy close to your clitoris, and enjoyyyyyyyyyy. Do not underestimate the power of the bullet, they are quite enjoyable for their reasonable price and size!

THAT HITS THE SPOT - Satisfyer’s Mr. Rabbit G-Spot Vibe- $40

The next toy on my list is a vaginal vibrator that gave me an orgasm like no other! These vibrators differ from clitoral vibrators because these are longer and often have a tapered tip for ease of internal use and penetration.. Now now now, I’ve been asked before, “How do you consider yourself a virgin if you’ve been penetrated before?”. Simple: 1) I consider my self-loving & self pleasure experiences MY OWN and not a shared experience and 2) Virginity is a social construct and doesn’t physically exist soooooo

There are a variety of G-spot-specific vibrators available, coming in a selection of different designs — but all aim to provide a better, more intense orgasm. If you’re a sex-toy virgin, go for a classic vaginal vibrator with a curved tip for easier G-spot stimulation. Ribbed designs allow for the raised ridges to pass over the G-spot, offering further stimulation. If you’re feeling braver, try a fully insertable “egg”, which might sound intimidating but just means the tip of the vibrator is rounded and sits right on the G-spot.

THIS SUCKS, LITERALLY - Sweet Vibe’s Clitoris Suction Vibrator- $50 and Satifyer’s For Couples-$60

Now during the pandemic, I discovered a whole new type of pleasure-makers that will blow your mind (and body) literally. Clit-suction sex toy use AIR pressure instead of vibration to stimulate your clitoris. "As the name suggests, clit suction sex toys don’t create the same powerful vibrations as standard vibrators; instead, they create gentle throbbing and sucking sensations around the clitoris, which help to increase circulation, boost arousal, and give out-of-this-world orgasms," says Sammi Cole, a sexpert at LoveHoney, a sex toy retailer. I suggest this type of toy if you are nervous about vibrators being too powerful for you. Let me tell you though, mine had me like THIS in the shower….

MAGIC WAND - Bellesa Boutique’s Satisfyer Wand-er Woman - $69

While scrolling through my Insta timeline, I discovered this amazing boutique run by women called Bellesa! They give amazing discounts and promotions with a STELLAR selection of toys recommended by BuzzFeed, Cardi B, and yours truly. No lie, this wand became my best friend after my first play time with Prince (my purple beauty). 13 inches of PURE POWER underneath the soft medical grade silicone head. This wand will solve any problem, ache, tension, or dry spell in your life with ease. What took me by complete orgasmic suprise was the different vibration styles (up to 50!) you get by pressing the squiggly line and prepare to blast off! It truly is magical and can be used for solo or shared play.

Publicly Sexy Tip & Tricks

Whether you are toy master or you are just starting to venture into the wonderful world of sex toys, there are several things you should know. Here are some tips so you can avoid any discomfort and thoroughly enjoy your newly discovered pleasures.

  • Clean Your Toys - If you’re using a sex toy made of a nonporous material (glass, silicone, metal), you can use fragrance-free soap and water. If it’s made of a porous material, you can try cleaning it with some mild soap and water, but that might not get it completely clean. I recommend using it with a condom to make sure no bacteria or STIs are transferred. Be careful about putting a non-waterproof toy (especially one that vibrates or is motorized) right into water. Just use a washcloth with a mild soap and a little bit of water, and then dry it with a paper towel. Always dry your toys off completely before storing them .

  • Storage- Choose a place to keep your toys where they could not get bacteria on them. I have mine stored in cute pouches, but wherever works for you. You don’t want your sex toys just rolling around your bedside drawer, as this can cause it to collect dust, lint, or other things to get on them and you’d have to clean them all over again before you use!

  • Lube is your friend- Lubrication is always the key, even when it comes to small, seemingly harmless clitoral stimulators. The lubricant will help the texturized vibrator to glide on your skin and will give you the pleasurable sensations you are looking for in a vibe.However, you have to pay attention to the material of your toy, as different sex toy materials require different lubes, therefore, make sure to check out this article for lube recommendations.

  • Don’t rush it - It is absolutely understandable that you are excited to experiment with your toy, however, rushing it may sometimes lead to discomfort or pain. If you’ve never played with a toy before, you might not even reach orgasm on the first go, that’s fine. If you’ve never had penetrative sex before, like myself, a huge realistic looking 9 inch dildo with a suction cup base, might NOT be the best toy for you right now….(lol future blog post about that experience?)

  • Listen to your body- Again, if you are experimenting with a toy for the first time, always listen to what your body tells you. A sex toy isn’t supposed to be uncomfortable, it is suppose to bring you pleasure

Final Words

Being a virgin doesn’t mean that you can’t experience sexual pleasure and still keep your “virginity” for when the time and the person are right.You can always experiment with different sex toys and experience different stimulation in order to figure out what works for you and what doesn’t bring joy while still staying safe. I sure hope you enjoyed reading this article as much as I enjoyed writing and sharing my reccomendations. If you have any questions or you simply want to let me know which is your favorite type of toy or what you are curious about, don’t forget to shoot a comment down below and follow us on IG! Stay amazing you Black Madonnas.

Ma · don · na

The Virgin Mary….or

An idealized, virtuous and beautiful woman

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